Erwin! (updated 1/31)

Today I got the chance to sit in on a taping of a series of seminars by Erwin McManus. He was asked by a christian television station to record a bunch of seminars that will be aired on TV in the spring and summer.

The studio was small; there were only about 25 people in the audience. About 12 people from my church overwhelmed the other attendees. Some of the other people who went were our Worship Pastor, Senior Associate Pastor, Men's Ministry team leaders, Junior High Director, Director of Women's Ministries, and our Leadership Development Team Leader. I sat about 10 ft. from Erwin as he spoke about his books Unstoppable Force and Uprising. It was amazing.

I have been getting very discouraged with the ministries I am involved in at my church. I feel like I am being chewed up and spit out by the system. Yesterday I had a bit of a breakdown as I struggled to understand why I felt my passions being sucked out of me.

Erwin inspired me so much today. He reminded me that people are really what matter. He reminded me to go after my passions. I understand more fully how the church should be and I know things can get better. I'm still struggling with all the pain of trying to create change and inspire extraordinary things in the church. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I whine, sometimes I scream, and sometimes I leap for joy (although more rarely). Things are hard, but God is Good.

Update: 1/31/08
Here is a comment I left on a special blog set up for the participants of this seminar series from my church:

- I am becoming more and more aware that Hillside's Ethos does not match up to the values written down on paper. Our mission statement is "Introducing people to Jesus, and inspiring everyone to follow him fully." However, the areas of ministry that accomplish these values often slip under the radar and have the fewest volunteers. Even the 4 principles we subscribe to (Caring, Reaching, Growing, Developing) become lost in the culture of Hillside. I personally know people who have left Hillside because their leadership abilities have been stifled, or their spiritual/emotional needs have been neglected. These young leaders that left Hillside went on to other churches to become lay-leaders, paid staff, and pastors.

Honestly, I believe that Hillside has many values that are not stated in the mission statement. These unsaid values shape the culture of our church. For example: loyalty, longevity, family, and harmony. I have come to understand that Hillside is a place where (if you fit the right criteria) you can fit in like a family. The problem is that I believe we miss much of the challenge to "follow Jesus fully" when we get blinded by our desire to avoid conflict, keep the status quo, and put a smile on because we're with our family.